No Remorse, Revenge
I I can feel my body start to wake up. I don’t understand. I’m lying flat, on my back. I try wiggling my fingers. I bend my toes. Slowly I’m gaining control over my body, but not my mind.The thud, thud, thud sound that I was only dimly aware of begins to dominate my senses, like a shoe that gives you a blister but you don’t notice it until it’s oozing blood. And then you can think of nothing else. I could hear the sound of metal scraping overhead, then the thud. I force myself to open my eyes, but the dark is so complete, it makes no difference if my eyes are open or closed. I can smell my unclean body.
Tentatively, I move my right arm out to my side to feel if I am contained or free. I can only move my arm a few inches before it sinks into a soft, padded wall. My left arm is pressed against the padded wall on the other side. I raise my leg a few inches and meet the ceiling of my container.
Thud. Thud. Scrape. Thud. The noise continues, relentless in its monotony, beating its way into my being. But I think it’s getting quieter, softer sounding, further away from me.
I can hear voices murmuring above me. I can only hear fragments of conversation. “Did we …” “ Is it over?” “We can….at night…again..”
Although I still feel confused and woozy, slowly, I remember how I got here. I remember the night sky filled with stars and a sliver of moon. I remember a young man with dark curly hair who wanted to kiss me. I think I wanted to kiss him back, I know I desired him. Then there were screams and some of the men I recognized from town were standing around me yelling and calling me names, and they hurt me. They beat me. That’s all I can recall. Now there is only blackness.
Once again, this time with more purpose, I feel the walls that confine me and at last, I understand. I am in a coffin. Again. They are burying me. Again. Do they have any idea this is no way to be rid of me? This mortal body will be left behind without a moment’s remorse and I will find a new one. When the spirit is willing, there is always a way to come back. And I am so very willing and wanting revenge. Again.